Your band is ok

Feeling more like Alice in the bad way

2011-07-30T20:53:00.001-07:00

9th, 10th & 11th June 2011
Went on the best tour ever. Airports. BuckHunter. 3 burgers a day. Doin the makeup in toilets.

Well it would have been the best if I hadn't been hospital bug sick for the whole time. When I looked in the mirror I actually had transformed in Alice Cooper. Not awesome 80's alice cooper though...Ageing no makeup cameo in a film alice cooper. This is ok because I'm well again now but to be sick the entire time except for one show was a bit annoying. Alice would have been proud to how strong I was. I pushed it aside and pretended I was having the best time in the world on the stage and then went back stage and slipped into ageing alice again. Crinkly and not being able to slam a million beers due to some forced straight edge new lifestyle. The thing about touring is..unless you're Alice or Bon Jovi (man that would be awesome) it's kinda expensive and a you almost always make a loss. That's why it's so important when you do go - just go all out and party as hard as you can. Harder than Vee. Harder than Andrew WK would. Just party like the world is ending. Take the best people with you, sons of rico are pretty much the best. Take those memories and hold onto them! They were a little expensive but well worth it.And never, never take a hospital bug with you.

The positive of this tour! I got to see Sons of Rico play everynight. Everyone played amazingly and had a blast.
and NEWCASTLE. WAS AMAZING. I rolled 3 days of party into one night. It was extreme. I slowdanced the locals. I drunk out of the bottle.

Silverchair was everywhere. It was inside us. We didn't see the statue of Daniel Johns but it was in our hearts that night. Even the graffiti in this town is amazing.

All the teenagers in this tour were literally holding hands and walking through the streets skipping. Newcastle. It's where it's at.

2011-06-05T00:39:00.000-07:00

So we launched our single casiojoy it was one of the most rad-ass nights I have ever had!

We re-lived the 90's in a big way hey. Carl Fox smashed a 90's medely with a bit of backstreet boys being an ultimate highlight, Boom Bap Pow with their Waterfalls cover made water fall from eyes with excitement and then everyone got ALL OVER the Macarena like stress related fungus. Echo Kid smashed the tunes! Tusk got all ticky-boom and shirtless...man!! I wanna be back there right nowwwww

STOKED X MILLION

2011-05-22T20:42:00.000-07:00

We have opened this dance up2everyone who wishes to join us 4 a flash dance of epic proportions at our single launch on June4.

It is the new zumba. I used to be a couch potato now I am sleek like a meerkat. I have 100% cardio alertness! wow ee zowweee! I'm a babe!

Practise these simple moves&u will ready to party&sleek as they come!Also (if you believe the rumours - and I do), you could be Bette Midler 100%. You could be that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSo18wLfO3g

2011-05-20T07:57:00.000-07:00

BOTH THESE THINGS EXCITE ME A LOT.

I CAN'T WAIT TO ENGULF THE 90'S at our first launch in a lot of years. Then I can't wait to drink 90 pints when we go on tour with the hottest band of devils Sons of Rico the weekend after. So much to look forward to!

We wrote a song

2011-05-06T02:13:00.000-07:00

Chin up old girl. Al and I wrote you a song

http://soundcloud.com/bridgetturner/mixdown-song-for-nelly

also this

2011-03-03T06:18:00.001-08:00

Good Vibes and hilarious photo

2011-03-03T06:10:00.000-08:00

So, we had a pretty rad time at the Good Vibes festival. We played on a rad stage and my head was projected about 30m high. I took advantage of this and we did a bunny/pelvic thrust hop from one end of the stage to the other end of the stage. Some good things happened as a result of this: The kebab vendor guy was particularily taken with our band and gave us free kebabs! The slushie guy was equally impressed and ...yep...free slushies. I felt like a celeb! Other misc fun things that happened were: We rode in a buggy. Pretty good no seatbelts...we are actual rebels. We roadtested a new song...did not fail..good times. GOOD VIBES indeed!!

writing songs

2010-12-29T08:07:00.000-08:00

Writing songs well takes too long and is ultimately boring...so I morphed our drummers face with our clarinet players face. yesssss.

2010-11-19T04:23:00.000-08:00

2010-10-31T06:19:00.001-07:00

So a quick search of "willy on your bottom"
digs up some interesting photos...my favourites.

SONS OF RICO

2010-10-25T07:47:00.000-07:00

So we are playing an album launch of the son's of rico boys. I think they are all hot as shit. So hot I encroached on their recent promo shoot by rocking out like a mutha and hanging a massive willy/guitar in their shot. I am amazing. My beret owned them.

This band is pretty good.

Son's of Rico are hotter than No doubt right now - DISCUSS.

2010-10-15T21:21:00.000-07:00

Lisa took this photo of us totally failing at our big band speech at the WAMIs this year. I just found it and wanted to share it
xx

2010-07-05T21:48:00.000-07:00

amazing.
love these guys.

2010-03-28T07:32:00.000-07:00

2010-03-28T07:12:00.000-07:00

2010-03-27T23:09:00.001-07:00

VIDEOCLIP

2010-02-01T19:55:00.000-08:00

Got a pretty hot videoclip on the make. Just as hot as this Alice cooper jerico morph

2010-01-14T20:11:00.000-08:00

southbound was amazing!!
I had a free back crack, massage and soft drink

plus

SIGNED 3 BUTTS!!!

I wish I could sign butts every weekend...sigh...butts

Grannies of many sorts

2009-12-11T02:10:00.000-08:00

So today I did a google search for "grannies"

My oh my. Don't do that!! There were some worrying displays.
this one was good though...A floating granny. She's pretty happy.

We have our first show with our new member next week. Its a totally secret event and I'm so excited.Its going to be pumping!
Here is the best results from a google search of the word "pumping" I assure you... The gig will rival all these pumps. Especially breast pump. Sheesh...why would you breast pump your shiz at work??

I'm having boysx3 stagetime withdrawals all the time now. We haven't played since the Northbridge festival/Van She and man that seems like a lifetime ago. What do normal people look forward to if not public humiliation in the form of a million pelvic thrusts whilst singing "Get your babe on?" What is life all about if not floating like that granny on a high of cheap wine and synchro crumping in a room full of complete strangers and the odd old friend who makes the treck down to your secret midweek locale for a slight pump.

Matt Damon go away!!!

2009-11-27T21:40:00.000-08:00

Oh no! This is bad. How do we get our band shirt off him?

Alice being the "dude" he is.

2009-11-27T21:24:00.000-08:00

Alice Cooper loves us!! We love him too. I guess you could say it goes both ways.
Nice sexy pose there too. Want more .. www.alicecooperlovesperthbandboysboysboys.com/wrysmileanddashinggoodlooks_+boystshirt=dribbledribble4113456486786

just kidding awwwwww one day

before and afters man I love them

2009-11-27T20:55:00.000-08:00

So we think we have found a replacement for our 6th member. I'm getting toey I want to play a massive show and dance about like a twat. I know we have to practise and get good and shiz but I really don't mind if we are less good and I get to prance about again. I'm thinking its going to be amazing. We are going to have 4 girls again on NYE like old times. Jade is coming back for the show which means there's some massive synchro dancing to be had. Massive 4 times massive.

Anyway I've been googling again and I've decided that I just love before and afters. Arnold is pretty good. I just rewatched Total Recall again. You should do that too. I was actually disturbed by how violent it was. I never remembered. I'm thinking I watched some edited tv version. I wish I hadn't seen all that violence. So violent. So much willy kicking and stabbing. Owwww. Also there's a scene where arnold gets all sexual with his wife...its really offensive for some reason. Arnie is not meant to be put into a sexual framework. He would just destroy you and your feefee. disturbing.

Laurie is mixing the Girlfunkle stuff on Monday.exciting! I tried to drop as much trance into it as possible. It turns out. Its not possible at all. Laurie will not let me mess up my serious music project with raving trance. Poos to the world. Poos to artistic integrity
I plan on releasing the raving trance version of "Passive" really soon though and I'll post it.

2009-11-25T19:22:00.000-08:00

hot

2009-11-24T20:43:00.000-08:00

2009-11-24T06:14:00.000-08:00

Today I googled the word "willy".I found this groin kicking picture and I found an amazing band called "willy."

They are my new friends now according to myspace rules. I recommend you check them out. Especially mike and ian, the song "get your willy out" is most excellent, I think you'll both agree. I also recommend you check their top friends out too. "Bum sick" are particuarily awesome. The incredible "Scat man" never gets old.

I found a dancer to dance on our videoclip today. She says she has many dancer friends who are babes who most probably will dance too. She stressed that they were definately hot babes so I didn't have to worry about having any mingers on screen. I don't really mind a minger or two. I'm worried they will all be too hot now and our band all look like grotty mingers in comparison. This is a definately worry. She is one of the most attractive people I have ever seen. Perhaps all the dancers should be wearing stick on fat bums. like pictured.

Are your teeth an appropriate size for your head? Take my amazing quiz

2009-11-22T17:56:00.000-08:00

So, in my quest to re-live the life of Alice cooper I have come to the conclusion that I need to snaz myself up a little bit. I need to make myself as attractive as possible. (I know Alice was obessed with his appearance. He was nearly always shot with a lot of makeup on-deny.) I put some make-up on - still not really a babe. Couldn't really figure out why. Perhaps its my dark bogan past and my love for tight black jeans. No Alice had all this too but still in babe town. I came to the conclusion it was that my teeth were just not right. I think, in fact, they are too small for my head. Deny 300words. I'm thinking they need to be just a little bigger. as in the picture. Number 1 is way hot. (As is number 1 and the number one) If you send me a photo of you I will show you that big teeth are actually attractive....(manicbeatle@yahoo.co.uk)

Today I can live with living in the world of a minger, I'm recording with my folk project Simone and Girlfunkle today which means only 2 people will see me all day both of whom have seen me at my worst. Ben Golby and Laurie McCallum = best dudes (adequate sized teeth - discuss 200words)Golby saw me when I had a flea bite and Laurie saw me blind drunk dancing the meerkat at Mint to YMCA by the village people. I am lucky to have amazing friends who are super talented at sound engineering and playing the piano (and will still help you out after seeing you at your worst)
So I lost my capo machine and hunted everywhere. When I found it, it was sitting with a message for me. (pictured somewhere on this page man html is a freak!)For those who can't read it it says "organ? TRANCE3" oh baby, if that is not a sign I don't know what is. There is going to be some breaking of boundaries in the world of alt-folk today. Alt-folk is going to be smashed. Alice Cooper would approve of this.

win

peace

Wanna play at a festival first you need a bandanna

2009-11-21T21:28:00.000-08:00

I don't really like Motley Crue, I think their lyrics are just like Alice Coopers who in my opinion did the whole being in a band thing better. Discuss 250 words (word limit of 23.5)

So somehow we landed a few festivals, southbound, parklife, one movement and now laneway. Sunset events and mellen also are pretty nice people if you see them I recommend you talk to them. Very swell. I like playing at festivals because I feel just a little bit closer to my ultimate goal of re-living the life of alice cooper to date. I'm sure he played at a festival at some point

Also festivals bring you closer to:
slipperly unshirted men/boys
cans of coke (possibly free if you can wangle the rider fairy)
people who would never usually see you because they are at pubs/clubs you never frequent because you are quite boring or just...different.
Nice stage foldback.
Nice looking stage hands. (This includes, Ren, Fletch, Ian, Victor and Kelvin...discuss 300 words.) This is actually directed at that boy from parklife wiley good looks and taught me how to turn on an amp when there really were no instructions on the day. Amps get so much more complex when you are pretending to be Alice Cooper for a day. Here's what I will look like after the festival season this year. I'm on my way pretty true. (no discussion)